By Appointment to Her Majesty the Queen


Her Majesty in regal style
Dressed in blue with woolly vest
Waves and nods her perma-smile
Doing again what she does best.

The carriage, gilt, with footmen, green
Moves slowly through St James' Park.
Roofless, so she can be seen
Unless of course it gets too dark.

With her, in state, her husband sits
His smile less sure, less warm, less real.
His place as consort is the pits,
See his pallid grin congeal.

The crowd, as ever, wave their flag
Delighted with their glimpse of glove
Held up, just so, to match the bag
She clutches in her lap with love.

At last the carriage slows and stops,
By Marks and Sparks and Safeway too.
He follows her around the shops.
Poor Ma'am, she's not like me or you!